I never thought I would be this nervous. To make matters worse, we had a very poor turnout. It was my departments “End of Year Function” and of the 100 or so people that sent an RSVP stating that they were coming, only 50 people ended up attending the function. This was a bit off putting. My time finally arrived and I took the front.
First I’ll tell you about the positive side of the show. The people seemed to enjoy themselves. I heard plenty of gasps echoing from the audience and a few people came up to me thanking me for the show and saying that they had no idea I was this talented. My wife was there and she confirmed that everyone enjoyed themselves. My manager sent an email out and said “I would also like to commend Willem for an act extremely WELL DONE! Willem was really impressive in his magic act and amazed the entire crowd. He certainly made us proud".
There was unfortunately a negative side. I’m not sure if I’m being too critical, but from my perspective things did not go as smooth as I had planned and scripted. I never resided my script out loud, because I thought I would just remember what I wrote. Although I always had something to say, it could have gone smoother had I actually learned my script off by heart. My stage presence grew stronger the longer I stood in front and the more I heard the crowd’s reactions. My wife did mention that I looked nervous at first, but I “got into it” soon after.
With regards to the actual tricks that I performed I learned that nerves can make you mess up even the one trick that you practiced more that the others. “Premonition” went smoothly. “Envision”, which is a drawing duplication effect, I thought might have gone a bit wrong and then this morning my colleague said that she knew how I did it and then proceeded in telling me where I flashed. She was sitting about three tables away; so, my mind is telling me that if she saw, others saw. I had the “cover” worked out so perfectly, but my nerves got the better of me. When it came to “Between the Palms” I actually messed up by doing a real cut instead of a planned false cut. Once again, it was my nerves. Fortunately the finale was perfect. The same colleague who saw my flash during “Envision” told me she knew how I did it. She was right. Clutch went off pretty smoothly and strangely enough, this same colleague was almost right. She sits across from and basically said what she saw; I just hope no one else heard, but that being said, there were so few of my team members there anyway so they might not even know what she is talking about. I sent her an email saying "Don’t tell anyone what you might know”, so at least I don’t have to worry about these revelations spreading like wild fire.
Although I have all these positive compliments coming my way from the spectators and also my wife, whom I know is always honest with me, I still feel it could have gone better and keep on doubting myself. The show was recorded by someone with a hand held Mini DV Handy Cam, and this is causing me more worries that my mistakes will be seen over and over and maybe even reversed engineered.
I did not charge the organisers anything and this is the department that I work in, so this was really a very good learning experience. I know all the theory, but when it comes to the practical side of things there are so much that could go wrong. For this reason it is so important to practice more, even after you think you have the trick down to perfection. Knowing your script off by heart is just as important.
I am really trying to stay positive and trying to remember the positive compliments and forget the negative things, but not the lessons I learned. Another positive thing that came from this is that one pf the spectators approached me and wants to hire me for her wedding coming up in May 2011. She must just accept my price. I pray that there will be more opportunities even before that as I am now certain that this is what I want to do on a part time basis for a very good second income.
